Ohhhhh

Last Girl is in New Orleans for New Year's Eve. She just tweeted that a button popped off her blouse in the airport. It makes my penis ache.

But tonight I will be with my girlfriend. I will kiss her at midnight and we will tell each other we love each other, and mean it.

I'm in a good place. I really am. It's not her fault I never wanted to be here.

Yum

Fortunately this secretary's granddaughter isn't on the "tights are not pants" kick some of my other hot lady friends are.

Curiously the one who's most irate about this wonderful booty revealing trend could absolutely rock that look. Must be a generational thing.

So awesome

Girlfriend notes:

Threatening to fuck her ear: no effect

The phrase "kitty strap on": completely horrifying.

I think I'm starting to figure this chick out.

Sheesh

Oh, nerdy guy who talks about his super coolness is great friends with the flat- chested girl in a bustier and hot pants in the STRIP BAR! Shocked!

Stripper stuff

I'm at a stripper contest. Remind me to elaborate on that.

Relationships are fail (but not mine)

The only thing I like about my relationship is the woman it's with. Seriously, she's amazing. She's a pretty redhead built like a brick shithouse. She's reasonable, way not into mind games or traps and she never criticizes me in public. Not even the mild rebukes I hear our couple friends make towards each other. I, of course reciprocate. Don't piss off the redhead.

I'd be a fucking moron to walk away from that, even if I had the guts.

But fuck I HATE relationships. The compromise, the emotional vulnerability, the monogamy. When we're apart I constantly fantasize about being single. About the chick on the bus this morning with the little black dress and the curly still-wet hair. Three years ago there would have been a grin and a hello there. Now I just try not to look.

But then I get a text message with a kiss. Then I get home to those soft pink lips and I think gilded cages aren't so bad if there's enough cushions. Double-D cushions.

Although frankly compromising is the more consistent grief. But this isn't a blog about compromising, is it? I've been meaning to dredge up some of my choice memories to entertain my readers. What about? Last Girl and the night and day difference between the first fuck and the second? The sub's ass I fucked while she was on her back and how I could feel the vibrating egg in her pussy through her body? The high energy chick whose face I gave its first cum glazing? Getting my dick sucked on the balcony of a side street apartment? What do you think?

I am filled with hate

Or maybe it's ennui.

I'm at a bar. The bartender is a close friend. It's his last day, and, well.

There's this nearby bar that had two of the most beautiful women in town slinging drinks. One of them is married, one of them isn't.

Almost three years ago a wonderful woman snared me. And right now, this actual instant, my close friend is fucking the non-married super hot bartender chick in this bar's office. He told me he's never had sex in the office, in eight years of getting more ass than a public toilet. So this chick offered to rectify that on his last day.

Me and dude had been chatting, he goes upstairs and she walks in maybe ten minutes later. Black minidress, hooker boots. Fuck. She asked the waitress where he was, waitress didn't know. I told her (after the waitress had left, I'm discrete) "he's upstairs". So maybe I spoiled his shit. But probably not.

Only on rare occasion do I really hate having a girlfriend, especially an awesome girlfriend who I love.

This is one of them.

Self torment

There's a chain restaurant close to a bar I used to be a regular at.  It's chock full of early 20s hotties, not quite sure of themselves, a little too much make up, first job making any kind of money out to blow some cash and make some mistakes.  Ripe for the plucking, and ready to pluck back.  That's bad enough.

Last week I hit this place up twice for lunch, both times I got to go orders from the Platonic ideal of one of these girls.  Super cute, hadn't figure out that kind of shitty job isn't worth being as good at is as she is, rocking the black stretchy pants.  I ran across the receipt today while doing my finances and her name was on it.  It's not a super common name, maybe she's on Facebook.

Oh she is, along with 250 pictures of herself, some dating from her cheerleading career (I bet she still fits in that uniform).  One of which is out of the window of her apartment and I can tell it's adjacent to one of the buildings I work at.  Fuck.

I have to be a good boy.  I have to be a good boy.

Dammit.

Back Room

"Were you looking at my legs?" she asks, not quite nailing the nonchalant tone she was aiming for.

I had been, earlier. She wore those fishnets with the hose still on them, if that makes any sense and the way she was sitting when I entered the office suite had them on display. A happy coincidence for me. After fixing her sink I'd come back out the front instead of sneaking out through the library hoping for a second glance.

"The Fifth Amendment says I don't have to answer that question."

That gets a laugh. Her secretarial attire doesn't give up any cleavage but she swivels to show me she's wearing proper old fashioned stockings with a garter belt.

"Care to join me out there?"

"I'm the only one in here." she says, indeed the office suite is deserted. Including the library and the big man's office. But I have a hunch and lean on her desk.

"You've already fucked in every room in this place, haven't you?"

She blushes, I win and hold out my hand to lead her through the halls into a mechanical space. I let her pass me so I can slide her jacket off and check out her full, muscular thighs. She's hiking her skirt up, pretending to innocence by not drawing attention to it. But she's looking around the dim, half deserted space.

"Here? Really?"

I close on her from behind, teasing fingertips under the tops of her stockings and say into her ear.

"You're not supposed to be here." Then I nibble. Her body language softens.

"That's the freight elevator. It could open any second." She's reaching around to feel my ass.

"That's the building ventilation trunk, everyone on three floors could hear you." She leans back against me and I slither her satin panties down.

"So I'm going to fuck you against those shelves over there." I'm past her pubic hair now, she's trickling. "And you're not going to make a sound." Now she's in flood. Her hands find my erection through my work pants. I squeeze her clit and she has to clear her throat.

"Okay." she says.

I kiss up and down the muscles on the side of her neck while I pull her sweater up, her short, dark ponytail teasing at my ears. She unsnaps the front of her bra (I love those) and I massage her breasts, a nice handful each with what feel like largish areolae. I pinch her nipples a little and she grinds her ass into my crotch, a little harder seems a little too hard so I go back to her tight, slippery pussy.

I walk her to one of the shelves in this vestibule and put her hands on the struts before pulling her hips away. Two fingers press deep up into her cunt and she hisses. Reaching around to stroke her hood gets a groan. There's no good position to eat her pussy from so it's good she's enjoying the finger fucking. If the stickiness gathering in my palm is any indication. Her knees tremble and her neck quakes, my cock is about to rip through to get to her when she whispers.

"Fuck me already."

It takes a little bit to get my stupid double knotted laces on my stupid work boots undone. This is no drop trou fuck here. She fucks herself while I shuck my pants, then she sticks her ass out a little more and together we get me inside her. She milks me, her snapper organ working and I'm slamming my dick into her juicy, hot pussy. I'm digging my fingers into her waist, making an effort to control my breathing. When to come in a quickie is always a calculation. Her fingernails brush again my pistoning cock occasionally, so she's jilling away. I try to match her pace and her pussy clenches and spasms. She grabs the shelf with both hands. From behind I can see her jaw drop and clench and the shelf rattles and pounds the wall as she comes, her hands tight around the metal.

I fuck her through her orgasm and figure the timing's good enough. The semen is always a thing, though. I turn her around and push her into a squat to jerk myself off onto her breasts and stomach. She leans back to catch it all on her skin and for a brief, shining moment there's just me spraying heat onto her and she happy to feel it. Then reality returns. Stupid reality.

"Um." She looks down at the mess.

"There's towels here." I get one and wipe it off of her. My half staff is in sucking range and she's nice enough to thank me by doing so for a little. I dry myself off and get my pants. She puts her bra around her tits again and kisses my check before heading for the door, putting herself in order as she went.

A work order about rattling in the ventilation system was on my phone before I made it to the shop. I'd let my boss worry about that.

Sometimes I feel it...

...not being single. The purposefully friendly, honey skinned brunette extra. Her background character is dressed professionally but her skirt is a little too short and cut a little too high in the back. And has lace fringe on the hem.

The medic, with the cosmetic surgery so well done it's not distracting. Her tight ass is probably hard won, however.

The intern PA with her sloe eyes and that slightly wide mouth that for some reason I associate with sluttiness, no, not sluttiness, slatternliness, for reasons I can't explain.

Maybe they're all intrigued by my toolbelt. It's pretty butch. Black ballistic nylon, no old school brown leather for this new school guy.

Half an hour left, then I go home to my redhead.

Revival

After some drunken TV watching and snacking she comes at me on the couch, straddling me, her tongue darting into my mouth. I answer, holding her thighs and feeling her heavy breasts. Not much making out before she's on her knees sucking my cock. Her mouth is hot and velvety, but I want her pussy. We shed our clothes and she's back on top of me, guiding me into her magic vagina. She rides, I thrust upward, she leans back with only our linked hands keeping her from falling. It's actually a funny sight, something more out of a porn than three years of dating.

But we're moving one. She's bending over on the couch. Yes! We haven't done this in a long time. Kettle bells and hula hooping, I highly recommend. I press into her and after a few thrusts she's coming apart. I let her have it, not the vicious pounding I've delivered to other women, but firm thrusts and the magic is happening.

We adjourn to the bed for more doggy style. My hands look very dark against her wide hips and bodacious ass. It all curves down to her waist and flattens to a plain before her tits jut out, wobbling from my thrusts. I can't see them of course, but I know them.

And I'm slowing down, breathing very carefully my balls eager to fulfill their biological imperative. Her flesh is being extra accommodating to encourage that. Her aroma is plain, filling the air. I pull out so she can get on her back and I can gather myself. Then I enter her for the third time and with slightly less penetration I can do her harder, ankles over my shoulders, her moaning and mewling as we fuck. I have to stop, no babies are to be made and this is a dangerous phase of the moon for that. But we're drunk and in love. And I almost don't think about the Last Girl, or Hate Fuck as we're having post coital cuddles.

Hate fuck

The third time I partially unzip her corset she leaves it half open, the beginning of the under curve of her breasts visible in the bar patio. Her friends rapidly drift away and fifteen minutes later she and my agonizing erection are in the nearest hotel.

She kisses me with smoke, whisky and teeth, I nibble on her collarbones with the same while I get her hot pants over the curve of her hips. Then our mouths are on each other again and she bites, sucks and bites harder. Several instincts make me push her away by her neck and put two fingers into her pussy. I'm neither choking or finger fucking her, just holding her.

"Be good." I say.

Smile. Twinkle of the eyes. She says "No."

Sex-positive feminist, indeed.

Now I squeeze, the muscles and tendons of her throat giving way and my fingers coated as I explore her vagina through her fishnets. She has slim labia and a fairly large clitoris, she wheezes a pleased moan past my fist and I use her faster.

"Now you're going to be a proper slut and get good and fucked, so I'll only hurt you enough for it to be fun, instead of doing something in self defense."

"That's a bit much." she croaks and I can't help it, I laugh. But I close my hands around her throat and fingers around her clit to regain control. I'm not naturally kinky, this is tactics. I desperately want to fuck her but I don't want to be covered in scratches and bruises for doing it. She closes her eyes, and moans in constricted approval.

I push her to her knees and slap her hands away from my groin while I loop my belt around her neck. Lucky for us there's a hole that's just right and she's about ready to come from not being able to draw a full breath. A pillowcase serves to secure her hands behind her back, wrists tight against the laces of her corset.

Then she's on her back, biker boots on my back while I suck on her clit and delve into her pussy looking for that patch of roughened flesh and it doesn't take long after I find it before she's thrashing and wheezing an orgasm.

I roll her over and open up, leaving a stinging red hand print on her round ass cheek just before I finally glide my pained cock into her dripping slit. Balls deep I give her other cheek a bruise then grab her hips with both hands and pound her viciously. She groans and coughs, fingers clenching in the air and cunt spasming around my cock. She's a pool of heat that writhes under my fucking. She bucks in all directions, I mostly just hold on and fuck her but stinging slaps and jerks on the flying end of the belt remind her of boundaries.

Then I realize she's trying to speak. Is she saying "loose"? I lean over her, still for a moment.

"You okay?" I whisper, hoping the spell hasn't broken, that something too much hasn't happened.

"Lube. In my purse."

Apparently not enough. I'm game. I shed the rest of my clotes and after making both of us slippery enough I press slowly into her ass. She's some kind of erotic, bound statue until I'm balls deep in. Then she releases a constricted sigh and nods. I slide out and push in for a while, smooth and gentle. She bites her lip and keeps nodding while I fuck her beautiful ass.

"Hold on."

I instantly stop.

"I want to see while you come in my ass."

"Yes, ma'am."

Unbelted, untied, hands finally freed she unzips the corset so I can kiss her salty nipples while she catches her breath. Then she puts her thighs on my belly and strokes herself while I apply a fresh coating and enter her again. She's tight and hot and dirty and as wonderful as I always thought she was years ago when she was fucking and fighting my poisonous friend. She shudders and bites her lips to suppress a cry, her fingers working her pink flesh and her quivering body and direct gaze sets me loose, shuddering floods of semen into her butt. She closes her eyes and smiles wide.

She reaches out to pull me and we're kissing deep, smoky drunken kisses.

"I can't believe we did that." she breathes, my softening cock still inside her. "I need to clean up." And she dashes into the bathroom.

"Run the shower for round two?" I suggest. Through the door I hear a laugh and water running.

Blue/red and Black/blue

Guys and dolls, one of each. The "guy", slender girl-in-black with a blue keffiyeh, Thai I think she was. The doll, tall with not-even-trying-to-be-realistic red hair and electric blue tights with a little housedress type thing between them. Black/blue watches, hands down her hipster jeans while I peel Blue/red's tights up, since her feet are in the air, so I can lick her. Her body seizes at the first touch of my tongue then relaxes as my mouth works into a rhythm, her thighs tugging on my ears. Black/blue stops using herself to help me, stripping off Blue/red's dress, pushing the tights further along her miles of leg so her knees can part and she can fondle Blue/red's clit while I lick and finger her. Black/blue returns to self-abuse with her other hand, still fully clothed. A screaming, streaming orgasm later, Black/blue guides Blue/red into doggy style and Blue/red steers my cock into her. She's hot and gooey, swollen tissue sucking on my cock. They hold each other's hands, locking eyes when Blue/red can force hers open. First a small orgasm, then I fuck her into a second larger one, then her pussy clamps down into a third, locked-jaw anaerobic climax, hands fit to crush Black/blue's. She unclenches, spent and I stroke onto her smooth flanks. Black/blue cleans her girlfriend lovingly. The mess on my person is tended to in a more clinical manner. Blue/red pulls her tights over her weak knees and all the way up, then clumsily dons her little dress. Black/blue thanks me on both their behalfs. Her jeans have a distinct wet spot.

I'm glad I could help.

Three years ago...

Catered lunch at a special job. The chick the ended up sitting next to me absolutely wanted me to hit on her. Straight shoulder length black hair, slightly dusky skin, fine features, dark eyes. Great lower body, couldn't see the parts between because of her layers. I totally WOULD have hit on her if I were single.

Back at it...

The minor surgery (for a hernia) left an incision above and to the left of my junk. Not super sexy. My girl, she has needs. Before the surgery my sex drive was shite, maybe something to do with, well, I'll spare you. That's all fixed, but there's the healing gash. But my girl understands. When she's sober. Today was a champagne brunch. And once the day drinking starts, it's hard to stop. So we went for a few more with a friend at a heavy handed watering hole for some doubles that turn into triples, then home. She's less understanding. In my lap. "Well," I say, "I GUESS you could put my penis in your mouth." So she does. I'm terrified I won't get it up, which doesn't help matters. Is it possible that I'm more sensitive when flaccid? After champagne and whisky she's not a proper southern belle. I can feel her tongue moving, doing things she either normally doesn't do or I normally can't feel. When I get hard I can't feel my cock, I can only feel her mouth. And her mouth feels good. Many's the time I look down when she gasps for air and a raging hard on comes out of her mouth. So I relax on the couch and let her do her thing. He reports for duty. Then we're on the living room futon still unfolded from being my recovery bed, displacing a disapproving cat. I push into her and she's ready. She's tipsy and deprived, so I've made her month by being there. She's wet and hungry and I slowly give it to her. She's exercising, so her flexibility is always improving. She hooks her heels around my thighs to pull me in. "I want you to come." she breathes. I rear up and start give it to her. Ow. I still have what amounts to a stab wound in my abdomen. What a buzzkill.

Time alone

I've been laid up the last six days recovering from minor surgery. My girl set up a bed in the living room, I've had only my iPad and the least affectionate cat in the world for company. Well, and basic cable but that hardly counts unless there's something good on Discovery.

Between naps (ahh, Percoset) and checking RSS I've had quite a bit of down time as one could imagine. It's made me realize just how much time I spend hunting for porn. It's the new channel surfing!

Even in my dreams

There was a brunette at my last job. Pretty, nice ass, instant sparks. If I'd been single I'm 75% sure I could have fucked her. I'm 100% sure I would have tried really hard.

I had a dream I was at her place (in LA, now) and we were making out on and off. Circling the eventuality that were going to totally do it.

Except I was worried about getting caught by my girlfriend. In. My. Dream.

Fsck.

A meditation on the leg. Two of them

My taste in legs is pretty catholic, I've found myself staring at flapper style stick legs, muscular track & field legs, long, slender legs that go for miles and full, soft legs made for garter belts and stockings. But I've never considered myself a true "leg man", there were always other body parts that would draw my eye more.

But the Japanese (although it could just be an anime thing) have a term: Zettai Ryouiki, according to sources it means "absolute territory" and refers to a chick's thighs. In particular it refers to how much leg is exposed between a short skirt (or maybe hot pants) and some form of leg covering. Socks, boots, what have you, and the higher the better. Thigh highs trump knee socks/boots/what have you, which trump crew length, etc, etc. But as winter drifts into spring and summer inexorable follows I find myself thinking of legs, particularly the absolute territory (since once summer gets here it's all sandals and flip flops, boo!) I think it's the same not-clothed-but-not-naked thing that lingerie works on. The glimpses of skin between what is only technically a cover. Any guy with a pulse will feel a flutter somewhere at a glimpse of stocking or thigh high top under a skirt.

This is also boot season. Ahh, boots. I don't have a boot fetish as much as I have a foot anti-fetish. This winter pirate / riding boots with those flaps that extend above the knee have made an appearance, both on the streets and in this blog. I highly approve. But just about any boots are good. Miniskirts and Doc Martens are a combination I can particularly attest to. The classic go go boot is, well, classic although I've seen some hot babes rock Wellies. That may be a Northwest thing.

What I'm not as much a fan of are bare legs, at least with skirts (shorts with hose are a weirdness all to themselves). Another advantage to boots, which produce absolute territory without another layer. Although I like the additional layer. Except when it's patterned. Lace, argyle, I've seen plaid, even! It's just distracting to what's really important, namely are your legs nicely shaped? Come to think of it that may be the point. Me, I prefer opaques to patterns, even (gasp) fishnets. In fact with opaque tights women will wear skirts that would be absurdly short with anything at all sheer. This puts them into a category closer to trousers than lingerie but I'm going to ogle many, many more women than I'm going to have sex with, so I'll appreciate the view over any strictly notional problems of access to the absolute territory.

So how absolute is your territory?

I'm drunk in Subway...

And this really cute chick cop came in. Think she'd let me disarm her?

I just had this thought

"Dude, you're not going to have a lesbian threesome tonight."

And it was completely reasonable. Not just in my head.

Whiz Bang

Not ten minutes in the house and she was on her knees in the kitchen sucking my dick. In bed she admitted that her brain may have gotten ahead of her body, since I fucked her twice this weekend. I had to work hard to get inside her. But once I did, magic.

I was sleepy on the bus home. I may doze off while she's working on dinner, before we go to the gym.

Yup, totally did her

I texted her a few times during the day.  Nothing graphic, but more than hints.  She replied in kind.  We'd already made plans to run an errand together after work, she suggested we have dinner first.  I was careful to eat lightly.   Despite a supremely irritating bus ride home and almost stumbling into a Serious Discussion (when WILL I learn to STFU?) we're on the couch drinking wine and kissing.

I was hoping to start with a blowjob on the couch, but girlfriend's a southern girl and her sense of decorum strikes, well, most of the time.  So to the bedroom where we undressed.

Have I talked about her breasts?  Let me talk about her breasts.  They're fabulous.

Fine, I'll elaborate.  Double handfuls, small pink nipples, soft skin, firm interior.  They were DDs before she started losing weight.  Like most busty girls her breasts aren't particularly sensitive (reminds me of a Depeche Mode song) so I don't spend much time with them.  She likes to watch me kiss her nipples because it makes certain muscles on my neck pop and she enjoys the sight.

She comments that my erection might be too large for her mouth.  She does have a small mouth but some of this I believe is base flattery.  I'll take it.  I lay down and she sucks my dick like she never has before.  Later she says that she just went with it without thinking about what she was doing.  Not avoidance, but letting her instincts lead.  Hurray for instincts.  I had to control my breathing right off the bat.

Then the humping.  She's really tight and she won't let me go down on her so we almost always have to use lube.  I slippery up and it's easier to enter her than is often the case.  I start off slow like normal, giving her pussy time to adjust to the invasion, long, slow steady strokes.  She's off and running though.  I suppose I should send her subtly naughty text messages more often.

She starts rubbing her clit.  Her face flushes and her breathing gets ragged.  I feel her pussy clench down and I change my stroke, instead of pulling back I stay inside her and push forward.  If I withdraw I'll pop out, she's that tight when she's about to come.

Then she tells me to stop.  She's never done that before.  Sometimes I feel like I'm the pole in a strip bar with her, but she's worth it.  She comes so hard I'm glad she's not a screamer, she'd have deafened me for sure.  Then I start pounding.  Unfortunately she's dried out a bit and even after a reapplication of lube she's over it.  I don't get to come myself but we're not using what you'd call effective birth control so I rarely do.  Ounce of prevention and all that.

I roll off her and pull the covers over us.  More kissing and talking of things.  Good time.

Mmmmmmm

Girlfriend is out of the danger zone. I do believe I am going to fuck her tight pussy tonight.

Stage 1 scarlet fever

I will cop to having a mild case of the above mentioned "disease". It's not the chronic variety, a buddy of mine has stage 4 yellow fever (I'm making these stages up, please don't ask me to quantify them), if she has an epicanthic fold he wants it. For me redheads get extra credit, which is handy for them because a sad proportion of strawberry pie is crust. Fortunately this is not the case with my girlfriend, she's quite pretty, all apple cheeked and green eyed. And STACKED, but I digress.

There's a redhead I used to know (not in the Biblical sense, alas) on my bus right now. She used to tend bar where I was a regular and she apart from her quarter-bouncing tight ass her primary charm was her main sequence ginger status. Rashly curly hair, freckles in abundance, maybe not so much the temper but by several accounts (including her own, and some hints from her husband) the lustiness.

But y'know, she really wasn't that pretty. I worked with a similarly featured brunette who was as plain as the say is long. I should have steered her toward some dye.

If I was single I may have chatted her up, we got along fine but we didn't have a lot in common. She's a doctrinaire liberal progressive and I'm more scattershot and realpolitik in my outlook. I was also a grade A loser back then, but it would be a challenge that could pay off big. She's wearing boots (that's another post entirely) and a kinda ruffly short skirt.

Instead I'm gonna pick up some groceries and go home, where my girl will be happy to see me.

Relationship. Yay.

Well la dee da!

Heading into Old Town, ground zero for hot and shallow, for the birthday of the last chick I was fucking when I was single.

Might be a rough night.

My girlfriend is there, fortunately. Hopefully that'll keep me focused.

Fun and, uh, not-fun

The GF was gone for a week, she got home Thursday night with a foreign cold.

We started off the weekend right when she came into my snore cave for good morning cuddles that turned into good morning fucking when penis realized the vagina was nearby.

That afternoon we were napping before going to an NYE party. She comes back into the snore cave and drops her PJ bottoms, calling me to duty.

I did my duty.

Then she got me sick.

Relationships are all compromise.